Monday, December 31, 2007
Handling Instructions
*Given the confusion expressed by some of my readers, I have developed a way to help ignorant readers identify sarcasm and sarcastic humor: in the following writings, items of sarcasm will be written in black text, non-sarcastic items will be written in blue.
Saturday, June 30, 2007
Safari West
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
It's Not Just A Riot, It's Marketing
These are from Special.ee (though the page seems to be down at the moment). Brilliant.
(via Heywood)
(via Heywood)
Labels: jackassery, riot
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
Estonia Mayday - May Day in Estonia
Doing a video search for "May Day" (May 1st holiday) and "Estonia" led me to this video - the "mayday" distress call of the "S.S. Estonia" and a video reconstruction of the sinking. Not as heartwarming as a bouquet of flowers.
Thursday, April 26, 2007
The Bronze Soldier
For those of you unfamiliar with Estonia and what is currently happening, here is a brief overview:
At this very moment, social conflict at a national level has reached a flashpoint in the Baltic nation of Estonia. Below is an explanation about what is going on and here are a few video clips (filmed and posted on YouTube by rioters):
This one is named: "Estonia with full trousers of shit - Welcome to eSStonia" (this was filmed and posted by a Russian rioter):
Here is the short version:
•During WWII Russia invaded and overtook Estonia (twice).
•During the Russian invasion and occupation, the military committed terrible acts against ethnic Estonians (entire villages disappeared); Like many other nations, Estonia became part of the Soviet Union against its will.
•In the Soviet Era, Estonia functioned as the Soviet Union's social "dumping ground" - many "disruptive" Russians were sent to Estonia.
•Estonia became a free nation in 1991, after the collapse of the Soviet Union.
•Many Russians remained in Estonia after its sovereignty; over 25% of the Estonian population is Russian. A greater percentage of the capital city (Tallinn) population is Russian.
•In recent years, Neo-Nazi groups have appeared in Estonia - composed mainly of young Estonian men, often in the military. These groups consider themselves in opposition to the Russians; they are notoriously vocal about Estonian nationalism.
•A Soviet Era memorial (erected in 1947 in downtown Tallinn, Estonia) depicting a Russian WWII soldier has been the center of controversy for several years: Russians revere this monument (it represents the brave soldiers who fought in WWII) and many ethnic Estonians detest it (it represents the Russian armies that invaded Estonia and did horrific things to the Estonian people).
•After a year of protests and demonstrations (by both sides), a few days ago the statue was moved to an undisclosed location (it will eventually be placed in a cemetery).
•With the moving of the monument, social tensions have reached a flashpoint: Russian protests have turned into destructive riots - cars toppled, businesses burned, stores looted (many of these were Russian stores); riot police have used tear gas, flash grenades, and rubber bullets on the rioting crowds.
•Russia is considering sanctions against Estonia (who is dependent upon Russia for certain resources).
What is to come:
•The Estonian government has decided to ban the sale of alcohol (this is a serious drinking country) until May 3 (and May 1 is a major Russian holiday).
•The nightly riots will likely continue for at least the next week.
•There is concern that Neo-Nazi groups will begin taking to the streets, using the riots as an excuse to attack Russians. These jerks have been waiting for an excuse like this.
In my opinion, they should have left the statue were it was, and next to it erect a monument dedicated to the Estonians who suffered at the hands of the Russian soldiers. Everybody wins.
At this very moment, social conflict at a national level has reached a flashpoint in the Baltic nation of Estonia. Below is an explanation about what is going on and here are a few video clips (filmed and posted on YouTube by rioters):
This one is named: "Estonia with full trousers of shit - Welcome to eSStonia" (this was filmed and posted by a Russian rioter):
Here is the short version:
•During WWII Russia invaded and overtook Estonia (twice).
•During the Russian invasion and occupation, the military committed terrible acts against ethnic Estonians (entire villages disappeared); Like many other nations, Estonia became part of the Soviet Union against its will.
•In the Soviet Era, Estonia functioned as the Soviet Union's social "dumping ground" - many "disruptive" Russians were sent to Estonia.
•Estonia became a free nation in 1991, after the collapse of the Soviet Union.
•Many Russians remained in Estonia after its sovereignty; over 25% of the Estonian population is Russian. A greater percentage of the capital city (Tallinn) population is Russian.
•In recent years, Neo-Nazi groups have appeared in Estonia - composed mainly of young Estonian men, often in the military. These groups consider themselves in opposition to the Russians; they are notoriously vocal about Estonian nationalism.
•A Soviet Era memorial (erected in 1947 in downtown Tallinn, Estonia) depicting a Russian WWII soldier has been the center of controversy for several years: Russians revere this monument (it represents the brave soldiers who fought in WWII) and many ethnic Estonians detest it (it represents the Russian armies that invaded Estonia and did horrific things to the Estonian people).
•After a year of protests and demonstrations (by both sides), a few days ago the statue was moved to an undisclosed location (it will eventually be placed in a cemetery).
•With the moving of the monument, social tensions have reached a flashpoint: Russian protests have turned into destructive riots - cars toppled, businesses burned, stores looted (many of these were Russian stores); riot police have used tear gas, flash grenades, and rubber bullets on the rioting crowds.
•Russia is considering sanctions against Estonia (who is dependent upon Russia for certain resources).
What is to come:
•The Estonian government has decided to ban the sale of alcohol (this is a serious drinking country) until May 3 (and May 1 is a major Russian holiday).
•The nightly riots will likely continue for at least the next week.
•There is concern that Neo-Nazi groups will begin taking to the streets, using the riots as an excuse to attack Russians. These jerks have been waiting for an excuse like this.
In my opinion, they should have left the statue were it was, and next to it erect a monument dedicated to the Estonians who suffered at the hands of the Russian soldiers. Everybody wins.
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
You Can't Take It With You
EnglishRussia.com has an awesome gallery of Russian mafia tombstone photos from Yekaterinburg City, Russia. Getting an image of your car etched on your tombstone is a nice eternal statement.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Estonian Ground Chicken Commercial
Monday, December 25, 2006
Merry Christmas
My Estonian father-in-law got in trouble as a child for reciting this poem to Santa Claus (it is a tradition in Estonia to recite a poem, etc. to Santa before he gives you presents):
"Jõuluvana tore mees
pikk on temal habe ees
täid seal sees siputavad
temal habet sikutavad."
English translation (I changed the translation slightly - I wanted it to rhyme):
"Father Christmas is very nice,
a long white beard he wears,
but his beard is teeming with lice,
that tug upon his hairs."
I thought this would make a lovely Christmas card, too.
Merry Christmas
"Jõuluvana tore mees
pikk on temal habe ees
täid seal sees siputavad
temal habet sikutavad."
English translation (I changed the translation slightly - I wanted it to rhyme):
"Father Christmas is very nice,
a long white beard he wears,
but his beard is teeming with lice,
that tug upon his hairs."
I thought this would make a lovely Christmas card, too.
Merry Christmas
Thursday, December 21, 2006
The Yuletide Report - Xmas Maximus
Sunday, December 10, 2006
Weather Update: Who is Cooler
Just so everyone in Estonia doesn't think we're getting away with something here in California:
Tallinn, Estonia:
Daylight: 6hr 14min (loss of 1.5min each day)
High/Low: 5ºC/3ºC (41ºF/37ºF)
Forecast: Rain/Precipitation
Menlo Park, California:
Daylight: 9hr 38min (loss of 30sec each day)
High/Low: 18º/7º (64º/45º)
Forecast: Rain all week
The only major differences: less slush, 3.25hrs more sunlight
Tallinn, Estonia:
Daylight: 6hr 14min (loss of 1.5min each day)
High/Low: 5ºC/3ºC (41ºF/37ºF)
Forecast: Rain/Precipitation
Menlo Park, California:
Daylight: 9hr 38min (loss of 30sec each day)
High/Low: 18º/7º (64º/45º)
Forecast: Rain all week
The only major differences: less slush, 3.25hrs more sunlight
Nightmare At 30,000 Feet
Monday morning (December 4th) American Airlines flight 1053 left Arlington, Virginia bound for Dallas-Fort Worth.
Passengers noticed an odd smell.
Perhaps another terrorist attack?
Poison gas?
No. And yes.
The plane was forced to make an emergency landing in Nashville. The Transportation Safety Administration, the FBI, bomb-sniffing dogs, and airport authorities evacuated and searched all 99 passengers.
The culprit: a female passenger lit matches to conceal . . . farts.
Yes. Farts.
She cut cheese at 30,000 feet.
She created turbulence inside the aircraft.
She assisted with the takeoff.
Her inflight meal was beef.
She made a tailwind.
She prevented a loss of cabin pressure.
She wanted to see if they really do recirculate the air.
She was doodie-free shopping.
She cropdusted the plane.
She wanted to test the oxygen masks.
She was trying to conceal the smell of the in-flight meal.
"She Who Dealt It" was not permitted to re-board the plane.
Though her name is being withheld (to protect her from millions of fart jokes), our Letters From Estonia forensic artists have provided this reconstruction of the incident, based on eyewitness accounts.
Linkety-link-link-link.
Monday, November 27, 2006
Unazukin - the Dark Secret
I got this for Kristi last week (her birthday). Just watch the video, it will explain it all:
Disko
This reminds me of one of the first things I wrote in this blog.
This guy has disciples in every dance club in Tallinn.
This guy has disciples in every dance club in Tallinn.
Monday, November 06, 2006
Just to Rub It In
Hey Everyone in Estonia,
Greetings from California! I was looking at the weather report for Estonia, and boy . . . I wish we were back there right now:
Tallinn, Estonia:
Snow and Sleet
Daytime high 3ºC/37ºF
Nighttime low -3ºC/26ºF
7hr 24mins of daylight (dropping ~5 mins every day)
Menlo Park, California:
Sun and . . . Sun
Daytime high 22ºC/72ºF
Nighttime low 12ºC/53ºF (wore a t-shirt last night)
10hrs 26mins of daylight (dropping ~2 mins every day)
We need to find a way to move the entire nation of Estonia to an island in the Mediterranean. I think it would be a great combination.
Greetings from California! I was looking at the weather report for Estonia, and boy . . . I wish we were back there right now:
Tallinn, Estonia:
Snow and Sleet
Daytime high 3ºC/37ºF
Nighttime low -3ºC/26ºF
7hr 24mins of daylight (dropping ~5 mins every day)
Menlo Park, California:
Sun and . . . Sun
Daytime high 22ºC/72ºF
Nighttime low 12ºC/53ºF (wore a t-shirt last night)
10hrs 26mins of daylight (dropping ~2 mins every day)
We need to find a way to move the entire nation of Estonia to an island in the Mediterranean. I think it would be a great combination.
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Happy Halloween
Happy Halloween, Estonia! The word "Halloween" is English for "Mardipäev."
To offer you all an idea of what Mardi-ween is like here, this is a list of the top 13 costumes worn by adults this Halloween - on the streets and in the bars (of Santa Cruz, Calif.).
1.Slutty Nurse
2.Slutty Police Officer
3.Real Police Officer
4.Shirtless Drunk Guy
5.Banana (no idea why, but there were dozens of guys walking around with this costume on)
6.Shit you wore at Burning Man
7.Alice in Wonderland
8.Guy with Hooded Sweatshirt and Rubber Mask
9.Drunk Sorority Girl with Devil Horns or Angel Wings
10.Fat Marilyn Monroe
11.Fat Bumblebee
12.Fratboy with Video Camera
13.Drunk Underage Teen Dressed Like Whore (whose parents think she's at a movie with friends)
The number 1 least common* costume this Halloween was: Steak.
*I intentionally avoided the lame “rare” costume joke.
And HERE is a gallery of Halloween bodypainting I've done this year and in the past.
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Heya
Hello everyone back in Estonia. Kristi and I are doing fine, settling-in to a new apartment, and looking for work.
Yes - we miss you all and miss Estonia.
Yes - this was done with Photoshop.
No - my butt does not have this many freckles.
Yes - we miss you all and miss Estonia.
Yes - this was done with Photoshop.
No - my butt does not have this many freckles.
Thursday, September 07, 2006
The End of the Tour
Dear Reader,
The river of life has taken Kristi and me to a new shoreline. We returned from our visit to California to a week of packing up our belongings in Estonia and taking our two (heavily sedated) cats back to California. To continue our lives here in California. We will return to Estonia to visit, but we plan to now live here, near our families and where the Sun is still visible in December. I intend to continue writing this blog, given the back-log of materials about Estonia that I want to address: Russian mafia fashions, 10 reasons why Estonian money is cooler-looking than American, Dill: the Estonian everything spice, etc. Stay tuned.
The river of life has taken Kristi and me to a new shoreline. We returned from our visit to California to a week of packing up our belongings in Estonia and taking our two (heavily sedated) cats back to California. To continue our lives here in California. We will return to Estonia to visit, but we plan to now live here, near our families and where the Sun is still visible in December. I intend to continue writing this blog, given the back-log of materials about Estonia that I want to address: Russian mafia fashions, 10 reasons why Estonian money is cooler-looking than American, Dill: the Estonian everything spice, etc. Stay tuned.
Sunday, August 13, 2006
Postings on this blog will be sporadic for the next 2 weeks; I'm on vacation in my ancestral California homeland. If you are bored or disappointed, I suggest you browse the archived entries of this blog - I posted some interesting stuff when I first started this. I will post materials in the next few weeks, just unreliably.
Like Superman, who drew his power from Earth's yellow sun, I am currently busy recharging my superpowers with the dull flickering light of crappy American television.
Like Superman, who drew his power from Earth's yellow sun, I am currently busy recharging my superpowers with the dull flickering light of crappy American television.
Saturday, August 12, 2006
My wife tells me I have "the eating habits of a stoned person." She's right, my diet is pretty dreadful. Fortunately, Estonian junkfood is still healthier than American junkfood. This is a fine example of American experimental junkfood (that even I won't touch):
"Deep Fried Cheesecake: A Dessert You Can Hold On To (for a matter of hours before it comes flying out of your body)"
"Deep Fried Cheesecake: A Dessert You Can Hold On To (for a matter of hours before it comes flying out of your body)"
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
This happened today. It is pretty much self-explanatory. Just watch the video.
